A few months ago, I gave an interview to Ana Belaval (if you do not know her, check out her YouTube channel; she is hilarious). Ana asked me something that I had been waiting to be asked since Mara was born: “How do you deal with people thinking that you had a picture perfect life – you are an author, and influencer, you have a good marriage, a beautiful son – but they now feel sorry that your life is no longer perfect because you had a child with Down syndrome?”

Here is the thing. If you follow me on social media, you know I am a glass half full kind of gal. Always. I do not throw myself pity parties. Instead, I allow myself my some processing time for pain, often intensely, but pretty soon I start working on the lesson that I want to take with me from any unexpected experience. But I am not naive. And I am not in denial. The fact that I deal with things in a positive way 99% of the time does not mean that I am oblivious to the reality of the world we live in.

I know that Ana asked something that many people have thought. That, somehow, our “picture perfect” life ended the day Mara’s diagnosis came along. Whoever thinks that it is absolutely wrong. Mara’s diagnosis has brought a perspective, a strength and a joy to our life that we would not have ever encountered without her choosing us as her family.

As a first time mom, I remember feeling so insecure about Lennox meeting milestones. If he was not right on track (well, if I am being honest, I actually aimed for him being ahead), I would start wondering what I was doing wrong and what did I need to do better for him to thrive. I was not obsessed with these “accomplishments” but they definitely were very present in my mind. Then, Mara came along. And, while I have worked way harder with her in an effort to proactively address any potential delays, milestones have not bothered me at all with her.

Watching Mara’s willingness to work so hard, all while having the best disposition I have ever seen, inspires me daily. I do not care when we get to our goals. The lessons I have learned by watching this determined little human are one of the greatest gifts this life has given to me. And I have learned that what truly matters is the journey towards those goals. Milestones are simply a part of it. The journey has very little to do with them. The journey is about the laughter, the love, the joy, the smiles…and then, somehow, you get to those pretty “famous” things called “milestones”.

This new perspective in life has also made me way stronger than I knew possible, and I owe that to my girl. When I think about Ana’s question and how others may perceive us now, I simply do not care. Zero. Nada. Why would I ever care about people thinking X or Y about my life when this journey has brought a significance to my life that I am grateful for daily?

Of course I have fears. But the fears I have are not related to what any random person may think about our family. My fears are not new because Mara has Down syndrome. The minute you have a kid, you live in fear of anything or anybody causing them harm. But, other than that, I stand on my feet today stronger than I have ever been. And it is thanks to my kid having Down syndrome, not in spite of it.

Now, let me tell you about the joy Mara has brought into our life. A joy like no other. A joy you can only experience when you find the perspective her life has given us. When the world is telling you about all the things your child will not do, or what she will struggle to do, and your kid goes ahead and does them, it is like watching fireworks daily. At your house. Imagine that. Having a human version of 4th of July in your living room.

With every achievement, Mara knows that she is accomplishing something great. And watching her pride in doing so is simply priceless. I do not know how Mara knows it – maybe because we work really hard – but she does. Watching Mara’s little face light up after making a new sound or clap “bravo” for herself after finishing a crawling race with her amazing big brother is the epitome of feeling joy.

Now that you understand that, you will understand that there is another reason that I am not impacted by that question. It is because I am on a way more important journey. It is a journey where I am able to help others. I have been gifted the privilege of empowering other families to enjoy the life that they have, and not to dwell on the loss of the life that they thought they were going to have. I am blessed to be able to help them see that their perfect life is about to be made more perfect.

So, I will leave you with my answer to Ana’s question: “I do not care about those people. They are not in my life. They are not on my path. I live focused on my path”. Now you know that our path is filled with perspective, strength and joy. There is no room for negativity in it – even if well intentioned. It is too beautiful of a path to allow anything like that to come in.