I get asked how to handle tantrums so so often on my Instagram account, so I decided to invite an expert to talk about the subject. Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist specializing in parenting, managing anxiety, and building resilience. If you want to learn how to better manage meltdowns and improve your child’s emotion regulation, you can purchase this course which will teach you how to do exactly that through a connection-based, practical approach.

The below video shares a step-by-step guide on how to handle a tantrum. I will summarize it for you but I highly suggest that you watch, because it is so so good!

Dr. Becky describes an episode when her little boy wanted a bottle that his older sister was using. He was frustrated after not getting the bottle he wanted and started to throw plastic water bottles. Here are the steps she followed:

1. Set the boundaries. Immediately describe the behavior that is not allowed. “You cannot throw water bottles”.
2. Take the child to a small room and close the door. Sit on the floor in front of the door. This will send the message to the child that nobody is going anywhere and that you are in control of the situation. It is important to show the child that you care about their safety and, while allowed to still show frustration, they need to do it in a much safer way. Dr. Becky allowed her son to throw some plastic balls in order to not suppress what he was feelings.
3. Be present. Once their safety is secured, show support and love. “I am here and I love you”. Make sure the child knows you are there for him. Dr. Becky emphasizes the idea of allowing the child to regulate their feelings. They need to learn how to do that. And allowing them to go through the tantrum process in a safe way, helps them learn how to regulate their feelings.
4. Lastly, later in the day, talk about what happened with the child in a calm manner. “WOW, that was rough before, right? You were really frustrated about that water bottle”.

I hope that this helps you handle tantrums with your kids. I loved these tips! You can find Dr. Becky on her website, Instagram and Facebook.

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